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its where she lies. broken inside.

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fight....for the right....to party. [05 Dec 2004|01:48am]
[ mood | tired ]

whats been going on lately?!
-at school allll day.
-after school had a student council meeting until 4.
-went home and had dinner.
-back at the school for 5.
-had the play.
-was supossed to go do some christmas shopping but all of the drama in my life stopped that from happening.
-went to the mall at 10
-did some christmas shopping
-went to dance for 3 hours.
-came home showered and stuff.
-at school for 4:30.
-went to bk with nikki and gary.
-did the show.
-10:30 had the cast party.
-around 11:30 like 20 of us went to tim hortons to figure out what was going on
-at 11:45 went to francis' party.
-12:30 got a call from kevin [danicas boyfriend] and like 5 of us headed over to a party near my house.
-saw some old friends which was kinda weird but cool. [matt, chris, jay, adam]
-1:30 came home.
wait...thats tomorrow. but i can tell u its gonna be hell because if got to be there in 5 hours.
yeah its definitly almost 2 and i've got to be there at 7am.
good one alex.

i can't resist

[03 Dec 2004|11:45pm]
[ mood | sickkkkk ]

dear pms,
im not into this whole "emotional rollercoaster" thing thats been going on the past few days.
</3 al p.s. please stop before i rip u out. p.s.s. i dont need a uterus like u seem to think i do.

i can't resist

its where she lies...broken inside. [07 Nov 2004|06:06pm]
[ mood | sad ]

i am not okay with this.
i am not going to be okay with this.

i am so tired of constantly being a fucking retard.

why must i keep doing this to myself?

to those of you that seem to mess things up with the opposite sex...what the deuce is going on?
is anyone else sick of it?

just for the record....i miss chris.
and regret anything i ever did to hurt him.
and anything that i ever did to lose him.
and anything i did NOT do to keep him longer.

im so dumb sometimes.

you really dont realize what you've got until its gone.

1 temptation| i can't resist

[06 Oct 2004|10:42pm]
nothing in my life is worth typing.
i think im going to take an lj break.
1 temptation| i can't resist

you ruined it for everyone... [23 Aug 2004|09:44pm]



leave me a comment and i'll add your sorry ass.

8 temptations| i can't resist

let me hop on the train...or...infront of. [23 Aug 2004|09:22pm]
[ mood | idiots dont have feelings ]

i am an idiot.
a total and complete idiot.
nothing like living your life in regert.
only this time...the regret is because i didn't do something.
not because i did.
opportunities like the one that came tonight dont come often.
life isnt worth living.

i can't resist

i broke the window again... [22 Aug 2004|02:46pm]
[ mood | not looking forward to work ]

im a fucking loser.


heres the pictures to prove itCollapse )

2 temptations| i can't resist

sigh... [20 Aug 2004|11:11pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

...mother fuckin sigh.
what the hell is going on here?
lets be fucking serious?
i know that me+him=wont be in a relationship...
yet STILL we manage to act like it.
if i could count the amount of times i have heard "are you two going out yet?
just when i thought all the games were finished...
we spent the entire day together....literally having fun.
he was sick so i made him some soup.
we watched batman, because its his fav.
watched shrek.
went for a walk.
held hands...
it was just a friggin awesome day.
but knowing that nothing is going to come of it just friggin kills me.
oh well...c'est le vie.

lindsay and amanda leave for myrtle beach tomorrow.
im gonna miss those fuckers hardcore.
they're gone for 10 days.
the good thing is i still have the brett[s], and dixon...but it wont be the same without those girls.

tomorrow im working 8-1.
fucking sobeys.
then i was supossed to go to this girl from works party at night...but seem to have been guilted into babysitting.
i was looking forward to getting nice and hammered...oh well...
i supose it is for the best.
besides, i havnt hung out with cassie [cousin im babysitting] for a LONG time...at the end of the month she'll be 14.
shes getting so big.
her speech is really improving too.
she's got down syndrome and autism...and she is the fuckin coolest kid i know.

well thats about all for tonight kids...
love you bitches.

i can't resist

just drop it already [20 Aug 2004|01:18am]


i've got some real pathetic friends.

2 temptations| i can't resist

go fucking kill yourself. [18 Aug 2004|04:18pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

dear mike,
go rot in hell.
</3 alex. p.s. you are not my father you asshole.

1 temptation| i can't resist

[17 Aug 2004|03:09pm]
yesterday me, amanda, and brett went to some guy seans house.
his parents are gone for 2 weeks, so you can imagine the condition of the house at the present time.
it was good times though.
we watched "confessions of a porn star" and "what a girl wants".
around 6ish i came home and had dinner with family and cousins and stuff.

around 8, amanda and brett came over.
we played cards till 9:30 when maygin, shay, cristin and stacy showed up.
we went swimming and what not.

this morning i had to work from 8-1.
which is good because i thought i worked from 8-4.
i came home and gave myself a pedicure.

tonight its off to ether a)shoeloess joes or b) fox and the fiddle. with some ppl from work.
should be good times.
4 temptations| i can't resist

i hate boys....im becoming a lesbian [16 Aug 2004|07:33pm]
[ mood | numb ]

dear god,
why do you hate me?
love, al

i can't resist

after all these years of plungingggg [15 Aug 2004|12:22am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

last night was sooo cute.
me and brett weer on the phone [like always] and i got VERY angry at him...and because i was mad he got mad.
then i was all "watever bye".
so im laying in my bed sad and wat not..
and he calls.
"im sorry. i couldnt get to sleep knowing you were mad at me".
so it was cute.
today i had to work...
good times with fun guys to work with.

tonight...went to moraris with lindsay and ashton.
then sturley, brett, zach, and joel met us on our way back from the store, and we went to the garage.
then joel and zach left.
and anna and ross came.
i came home because i have to be up early tomorrow.

tomorrow i work,...7:30-12:30....bitch.
then off to amandas for a sleepover.
co-ed style. hahaha.
night bitches.

i can't resist

[11 Aug 2004|11:30pm]
[ mood | okay ]

this is sooooo overdue for an update..
i dont know why i havn't been updating lately.
its a terrible habit.
first off id like to say:
if you are not an lj friend of mine/dont have lj and still read these...then...COMMENT!!! i dont care who you are, where yer from, watever...i just want to know whos reading this.
dont make me set it to friends only.

so i have been working like a maaaaad motha fucka lately.
this paycheque will be raking in a nice 52.5 hours of working.
i <3 money.
and it <3's me.

i worked and then went over to matts.
it was me, matt, kyle, maygin, and cristin.
kinda weirddd because of my history with kyle...
but still time was enjoyed.

i had to work...BLAH!! thennn...
i came home and tanned and didnt do much at night.
just sorta hang around the house.
im shure i did something but i cant remember.

up hella early [10:00]...
brett came by around 11 and i dyed his hair this darkbrown/black colour.
mmmmm. so full of hot.
matt came around 11:45 and we hung out.
arrrounndddd 1:30 we got a drive over to the garage where we chilled with yarmo/anna until 4ish.
then me, brett, and yarmo went to yarmos dentist/the mall.
we did some shopping, and saw some randoms.
at 8:00 yarmos mom picked us up and me and brett came back here.
we played cards in the backyard and then coloured some pictures...
which are now hanging in my room.
i shall post them at a later date... [tomorrow?]

i woke up to a phone on my head and "ALLY-BAH-BAH" being yelled.
damn you lily-a-bob-way.
dont ask. just dont.
so i worked today 1-6....
got home and had some eats [rice and chicken stirfry...my fav!]
then arounddd 8:00 headed over to moraris.
brett and yarmo were there.
amandas brother [andrew] answered the door and said,
"alex...if you and brett make babies...will their hair be bleach blonde?"
this all started because i have the tendancy to say "eff you, go drink bleach".
then me and brett went to his house so i could wish his mom a happy birthday.
then we went to get banana popsicles.
met up with sturleyyy.
went back to amandas and dixon was there.
and that was it.

im working from 1-6.
then going to see that cinderella movie with amanda.
it should be good times.

anyways thats it for now bitches.

p.s. CARLY: i hope happiness comes your way soon, because you deserve it more then anyone i know.


20 temptations| i can't resist

so..turns out i like him.... [10 Aug 2004|12:29am]
[ mood | in like ]

"i love when we hold hands....or when he touches my face and tells me i have really soft skin....or when i can tell hes laughing because i said something funny...and not just because he feels he has to...or when he can open up to me and tell me what hes thinking....and i love how hes so gentle with me....and how he tells me these stories about what he does with other girls, but he doesnt rush anything with me....and how he fears being rejected [even though i wont do it]....and how he calls me when he gets home to say goodnight...and how he rubs my back.....and how he holds me close because its cold out.....and even though we are sitting right beside eachother, he doesnt think its lame to write letters back and forth....and how he wasnt scared to kiss me even though we were on webcam with someone...and how even though he is with his friend, he'll still talk to me in that sweet voice..."

5 temptations| i can't resist

[01 Aug 2004|11:51pm]
this is the third or fourth time i have gone to update....
i write half of it and then say.....eff this.
so yesterday i worked from 8-1...
then went to the mall....
then got my hair cut...pics later....if i remember...
thennn baran came over at like 6:30...jay, kevin, and rob came over at 8:30....maygin came over at 9....baran left at 9:30 cuz he had to pack....hes gone tot he cottage that all my friends are at this weekend....then jay, kev and rob left at 10:00 because kev needed to give the car to his sister....then cristin came voer around 10:15...steve came over around 11...at 12, ryan, kyle, kenny, george, and matt showed up....they left around 1...ish....then me, maygin cristin and steve played cards until 3:30.
it was good times.
today i worked from like 4-11....
it wasnt too bad...
i played matchmaker...
anyways..yah...thats it.
kay. bye.
4 temptations| i can't resist

its picture time! [29 Jul 2004|10:06pm]
[ mood | happy ]

its about damn time!

i fucking love webcam parties with my dad...amanda..drew...and lindsay.

love love love!!

whos obsessed with their webcam?!....ME!!Collapse )

14 temptations| i can't resist

things are finally starting to look up [29 Jul 2004|11:07am]
[ mood | excited ]

Well not too much has been going on lately...
i got a webcam and have had nuff webcam parties.
i'll be posting some pictures when im not so lazy to upload them on photobucket.
i really wanna get photoshop.
it makes me sad that i dont have it.
oh well. c'est la vie.

on a better note...i went to the oshawa mall with drew<3, morari, and emily yesterday.
it was good times!
i got 2 purses, because a girl can never have too many purses!

yes so im still really pissed about the jess and drew thing.
jess is a fucking hoebag so im not really surprised about her.
but fuck i could kill her about this.
i talked to drew about it, and he reassured me she would never take my spot in his life.
we had such a good talk. i honestly couldnt stop crying.
at first i was crying because i was so upset, but then the upset turned into....not upset-ness because he was being his sweet self.
telling me i'd always be his bestest friend in the whole world.
fuck i love that kid,
hes taking the train to come and see me again today which excites me beyond belief!
morari and yarmo are coming over to.
were going to have a swim/craft day.
this should be great!

tomorrow, brett, chris, amanda, yarmo, anna, and brad leave for the cottage. and baran is meeting them up there [hes already been gone for 2 weeks].
they are all gone until tuesday.
this is gonna friggin suck:(
oh well....it'll give me a chance to hang out with other ppl without feeling bad.

anyways....it'd be nice to hear from some of you...so comment why dont cha!

2 temptations| i can't resist

[28 Jul 2004|12:49am]
i am a fucking mess tonight.
i know that crying for an hour straght...and when i say cry...i mean...be hystarical...feeling like u cant breathe...like you are goig to throw up gives you a very bad headache.
it wasnt even bad crying.
i cant explain.
HE does something to me i cant explain.
1 temptation| i can't resist

[27 Jul 2004|10:10pm]
can i just fucking kill myself.
i fucking hate my life.
and i fucking hate you.
you piece of fucking shit.
i regret ever falling in love with you.
i fucking want u to die.
i can't resist

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